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Ask Dr. Carolle |
 I am married to my wife for the last 28 years. The last 4 years have been difficult. We had a good marriage, and now it seems she is not interested in sex anymore, so we don't have a sexual relationship. She pushes me away when I try getting close, it is even difficult getting a hug from her. She has become very selfish and secretive. I have been so frustrated by the situation I said things in anger, and maybe made things worse. I have said many times I cannot live like this anymore, and all she can say is that you do what you want to do. I love this woman and it is heartbreaking to see the changes that are happening with her. I know she loves me, but to tell you the truth I don't know how to cope anymore. My mother in law has been asking me to hang on. She is my source of inspiration. I will appreciate hearing from you.
 Since you have been married for the past 28 years, I am assuming that your wife is in her late 40's to mid-50's. It could be that she is going through mid-life changes that could be related to
peri-menopause and menopause. During this time, there can be important life changes that occur and coping mechanisms may be stretched to the limit, especially if hormonal changes are also occurring.
You are lucky to have such a nice mother-in-law as an ally. You should work with her to see if, through her, you could open a communication window with your wife. Do not discard the idea of considering couple counseling either. If your wife won't consider counseling, you may want to go by yourself in order to get additional idea for coping and improving your situation.
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